When I was in playwriting school, there were three distinct groups of artists under the umbrella of the school’s Drama Division: playwrights, directors and actors. We collaborated on occasion, but we had separate tracks in terms of classes and focus and goals. In the second year of my playwright study, I had a workshop of a play done and there was an actor cast as the lead in my play who was, decidedly, not so interested in being in my piece. He was playing a gay character, and he really didn’t want to be doing that. It challenged him and he, in turn, challenged me (and our director) as he moved through the process of rehearsal. Some days it seemed he was committed and other days he wasn’t. It was exhausting.
A friend of his, also an actor, spoke to me about his friend. He let me know that he’d told the guy to get over it and commit to the work. That was his job as an actor – to commit and explore the piece. I was grateful to know that this guy had championed the process to his buddy. I was happy to have the support. Eventually, the actor became more comfortable in the role. His work became better.
After graduating, the actor who championed my work to his friend became a lead character on an HBO show. The show became a hit. I was delighted to see him (along with another alum) playing opposite each other. His work was brave and over-the-top and funny. And he was playing a gay character. This actor was not gay, but he gave the part so much life and energy that the world (literally) noticed. He was on the series for all of its 7 seasons and launched a wide-ranging career that included other TV shows, plays and movies. His work was solid. And he was generous enough to say yes when I asked him to be a part of my web series, SEND ME, a few years ago.
The actor was Nelsan Ellis. The show that launched his career was HBO’s True Blood. He died this past week at the age of 39.
I tell this story because at times like this I remember that death is, in fact, real. You may go around imagining you have all the time in the world to do what you want to do – creatively or in any other way. But the truth is, you don’t. All our days are numbered. Even those famous, accomplished artists who do beautiful work, will one day, face the end of life.
Over the years, I saw Nelsan many times, at parties, in classes, in the audience of a play he wrote. I saw him on TV and in the movies. I saw him in NY and L.A. He had a molasses slow charm and a spark of insight and energy just beneath the surface. He was kind and funny. And he was very very talented.
As I mourn his passing (along with his friends, family and fans) I want to take this space to remind you that there is no time to waste.
Live your life.
Give time to your creative work.
Take time for your creative life.
Let go of the excuses and self-sabotage.
Surrender to showing up incrementally to say what you need to say on the page. The time is now. And time is fleeting.
In the end, in death, you will be silenced.
Until then, write like it’s going out of style. Write like your days are numbered. Because they are.
You have everything you need.
For help moving through, you know where to find me.
